by Clarence Hill
The church now stands in a day where the momentum of all things seems to be steadily increasing. A month goes by like a week, a week like a day and a day is a little more than the blink of an eye. It wasn’t too long ago that we stood shocked and silenced by the news that the divorce rate of the church was no different than that of the world. Now, years are still passing by and the pressure on marriages from an adverse culture appears to be showing no signs of letting up. We have moved from a state of urgency to a state of emergency. The present need demands a response even greater than the sacrifices duly made by many faithful leaders and movements that continue to bless and strengthen marriages. Help and effort must arise from both the pulpit and the pews!
The good news is that local churches are awakening to the call to strengthen marriages on an ongoing basis. Many are realizing that a sermon series, a weekend seminar and a romantic couples’ banquet have all moved from being satisfactory efforts to only being a good beginning of things that must be done continually to help shape the lives and futures of those in covenant. Marriage ministry is vying for a place of importance equal to the great call of evangelism. How can the world see the truth if the power to save souls doesn’t prove powerful enough to save marriages? What can the church do if her own households are falling apart? “If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” (Psalm 11:3) Pastors, leaders, and converts new and old are becoming purposefully aggressive and proactive, doing whatever it takes to make a difference in their own marriages and in the lives of those around them.
The need for strong marriages is great. There are definite reasons why a plan that will successfully build strong marriages is vital to every individual couple and every local church. Here are seven reasons why the church must produce strong marriages:
#1 The Great Need for Qualified Leadership
The church needs qualified leaders for the days ahead. According to 1 Timothy chapter 3, the great qualifier for church leaders is the household. Without a solid marriage, a man is not qualified for positions of leadership in the church. The many entrapments of moral failure that trouble marriages have left a great cry for a generation of men (in leadership and in the pews) who will live above pornography and sexual sin. The church must have godly examples before them.
#2 True Christianity Works
The gospel of Jesus Christ does not fail to produce righteousness in the lives of those who believe. If this fruit of true Christianity is not coming forth in marriages, it simply means that we are overlooking the knowledge of the right way to be fruitful. It is our duty to not only preach the gospel, but also to, by wisdom, produce fruit that remains.
#3 To Be Examples to the Next Generation
It is also our duty to pave the way for our children and our children’s children. A weak and defeated marriage will leave the next generation to have to rediscover marital wisdom and truth for themselves in a day that quite possibly may be ten times more difficult than ours.
#4 New Christians Desire Marriage
The bright and hope-filled eyes of a new believer are often envisioning their day to get married. Many daydream of their time to build a home filled with love and joy, unlike the picture of their own broken background. Yet, the pressure and temptation of pre-marital sex, acceptance and worldly success often pushes them to make wrong or pre-mature choices. A church community that sets a standard and begins to show forth successful marriages is the best place for these souls to grow and mature.
#5 All Divorce Hurts the Testimony and Life of the Church
Every divorce in the church is a potential hindrance to faith for an unbeliever or a child of a divorced couple. The effects of divorce commonly affect the children’s lives for many years to come. Divorce demands hours of counseling and help. It splits families and sends them to different churches. Both parties often leave their home church. Precious friendships are torn apart and often acquaintances are pressured to “take sides”. Any amount of prevention that can stop one divorce is worth due consideration.
#6 No Osmosis
Strong marriages will not just “happen”. It was a fair thought in days past to expect believers to go home and successfully apply the truths that were taught across the pulpit and in Sunday school classes. Today, teaching alone will not produce the same results because the greenhouse of a decently peaceful and restful home has long been destroyed. Most Christians do not go home to an environment that will cause the Word of God to bloom and bear fruit. Today’s households are typically suffering under the burning heat of busyness, marital strife and financial pressure. If that is not enough, there is also the constant barrage of telemarketers, offers and the “deal-of-a-lifetime”. Many others are additionally burdened with the physical and emotional sicknesses that ail a people who are less than healthy in diet and lifestyle. To ignore the reality of this level of opposition is like persisting to plant a garden in the open desert. You end up with lots of activity, effort and hard work, only to yield very little, if any, fruit. Without a purposeful plan and strategy to build strong marriages, the culture will continue to make a statistic out of some of the most faithful individuals.
#7 We are Called to Make Disciples of Every Nation
Many people refuse Christ because they don’t believe that the Bible is the truth. When the church begins to boast of strong marriages in the face of an adverse culture, the claims of the Scriptures will have an undeniably strong witness. The world must see a difference in the lives of Christians, so that they may more easily see their sin and be saved. Jesus Christ is still the one who leaves the ninety and nine to go after the one lost sheep. The angels of heaven still rejoice over one sinner that repents. A church that prevails against the tides of the culture is a powerful witness to unbelievers.
The Sum of the Matter
There was a day when the church could be a community within a community and a culture within a culture. The preaching and teaching of the gospel week to week was enough to bring forth a people who would live set apart from this world. Today is not that day. That day had two things that this day refuses to yield. One, is time to build relationships and the other is a culture that supports marriage, family and a healthy pace of life.
Today’s culture has risen up like a mighty flood and its waters press in through the cracks and seams of even the strongest of marriages. If a couple lives above the sins of adultery, pornography and other temptations, there is still the trap of busyness and prayerlessness. If busyness alone was the issue, a small amount of accountability would resolve it, especially for those who are strong and firmly committed. However, it is not just the busyness of the affairs of this life, but also the great demand of ministry. There is literally a crisis on every corner. Single parents, spouse abuse, child abuse, wayward teens, divorce, gambling, drugs, and on and on cry day and night for our attention and energy to the point that the very best of God’s soldiers must practice true wisdom or their marriages could be next.
The day has come for everyone from pastors to laymen to have some type of Christ-centered support group as a part of their lives. It is not wise for any soul, from the least to the greatest, to be on this playing field alone. If knowledge and information was all that couples needed, there would have been a greater impact for the better by now. Great knowledge and wisdom has been poured out through sermons, radio, television, conferences and seminars, but none of this, by itself, can create the culture that Christians are now called to create in the local church and among individuals that will become a community of support.
When strong marriages are again the norm in the Christian community, we will 1) produce many qualified leaders for the church of tomorrow, 2) we will show unbelievers that the Bible does have the answers, 3) we will set an example and pave the way for future generations, 4) we will see newly saved Christians succeed in their marriages, 5) divorce will be terribly uncommon, 6) purposeful methods and practices used to create a godly culture and community will have become a normal lifestyle to the next generation 7) and most of all, those that could never see that Christ does make a difference will see that He is the truth and be saved!!
